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Guest List Etiquette January 21, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — jamiemae @ 10:27 am
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Another etiquette question was asked of me that I feel I should address. When a woman gets engaged, she finds that her old friends who haven’t been in contact for months, or even years, will start showing up. Does that mean she must invite those friends who have come back into her life?

I would say no, not necessarily.

If you are already having a large wedding, inviting your parents’ co-workers whom you don’t even know, and there’s room in your venue, then yes. There’s really no way to politely say, “Well, I don’t know who that guy is, but you can’t come”.

If you have limited space, limited budget and you really wanted it to be a private affair with the people you love most, then you don’t need to feel obligated to invite old friends. 

Here is my rule of thumb: If you have been close to this person for at least the last five months and you plan on staying close for decades to come, invite them. If it has been longer than a year since you have even spoken to them, don’t worry about it. The fact is, you can always send announcements to the people who didn’t get invitations.

Photo borrowed from Conscious Clothing


3 Responses to “Guest List Etiquette”

  1. Jennifer Robison Says:

    So what exactly is the difference between actual wedding invites and wedding announcements? Does one send the announcements AFTER the wedding? I would assume so, as announcement before the wedding could makes someone uninvited think they were coming. Though, do announcements after the wedding hurt people’s feelings.

    Oy – hurt feelings – that is the hardest part about wedding.

    • jamiemae Says:

      Yes, announcements are sent after the wedding. Generally, they are prepared at the same time as invitations and put in the mail on the wedding day or the next day. However, etiquette dictates that the bride and groom have up to three months after the wedding to get them out. This is also a good time to give out the couple’s new address. Thanks for the questions!

  2. Jennifer Robison Says:

    Getting married in October makes this easy! – the announcements can get sent out instead of/as the Christmas card! 🙂

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